khalidimag

Just a thought that visited me after reading Aritri's poem (P.S: she writes really well..) - Throughout my life I keep looking for something that I don't have. I seek love in the jungles of hatred and materialism. I keep waiting for the Mr. Right to whom I would surrender my self. I find love but do not appreciate its beauty as I get entangled in the worldly affairs. After I win the rat race, I look back but can't find it. And then I crave for it when I lose the loved one. I chose this path for me but I blame the destiny and God for this fate. I stand all alone like a forlorn cactus in the endless desert, gazing at the indifference of the passers-by. I want to fill the vacuum in my life. I wait patiently for that love to return. I wait for a ray of love to traverse these shadows of gloom.

I don't know how to interpret this incident that happened this morning...Anyway, I was the victim. I was in the auto headed towards Shahdra bus depot. Two boys on a bike overtook the auto and were about to turn rightwards when suddenly both of them waved to me and shouted “ye kitne hain?”, i.e., “how many were they?”. Well, later on I understood that they were showing their fingers and asking me if I could make out how many were they. Spurt of anger was the first emotion that I could feel. How dare they challenge my eye-sight! But then I chuckled at my own confusion. Well, then I heaved a sigh consoling myself that these things do happen (esp. to me…!).

I have mixed feelings right now...There are a lot of instances which make you feel good or bad but there are some that make you think. In the morning, I travelled in an auto rickshaw alongwith three women and four of us were stacked somehow in the available space. In such a case, only three of the passengers can sit (more or less) comfortably but the fourth one would have a tough time. Here, the fourth one was a lady in orange saree. I was pretty content with my comfortable position and didn't give a damn about the others. When the auto reached its destination and all of us got down, I was surprised (infact..a bit shocked) to see that the lady in orange was pregnant (5-6 months). That moment filled me with remorse. After blaming myself enough for my inconsiderate act, I started blaming the lady for travelling like this when she needed to take utmost care of her health. But then I could not escape from my guilt....

Finally I got a break from IMT but don't get me wrong. This is not a vacation but summer training (which is supposed to be rocking...you'll know why..!). My next few posts would be dedicated to this new experience (i have the faintest idea whether adding value or not..). Now that I have covered this journey halfway (till now it was quite smooth...), I can't comment until it ends...

Life has slowed down in pace. There used to be days when targets and deadlines governed the activities of my day in office. And now, although I get a lot of free time for widening my sphere of knowledge by exploring the internet, I have no definite work set aside for me. So, I can let my hair down and spend some time on myself. Looking at the plight of some of my IMT colleagues, I consider myself lucky enough to subsist in an air-conditioned office and spend time as per my own sweet will (obviously not under any surveillence!). These days I see different varieties of people all around me in all strange postures possible (won't like to elaborate on that...) as I travel in buses and auto rickshaws regularly. I listen to the people indulged in ultimate 'bhasad' (IMT lingo used in place of gossip..). At times these talks are interesting but mostly it is non-sensical. Sometimes I have an urge to interrupt or comment but then I won't prefer people calling me insane! I catch a...