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Here again

Well, feel nostalgic to be back to blogging. Once again quite a break of 1.5 years before I wanted to write about my feelings again. Not that I don't introspect, I just don't believe in putting it out there.  My elder one is 8yrs+ and the younger one is 1.25 yrs. I feel proud of managing everything- kids, job, MA Psych (definitely with support of my mother and spouse). I feel fairly confident about doing well in the field of counselling. Still I haven't been able to muster the courage of changing the direction of my career. But I think I am slowly progressing. If I succeed in changing my career stream, it would a tribute to my father who suffered from and survived throug Schizophrenia. However, he always wanted me to be pursuing a well paying job. Maybe I never tried to explain my motivation behind pursuing psychology to him. I have seen him with inferiority complex, regrets, sadness, and disappointment. I have seen my mother struggle managing two people with mental health ...
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Happy Birthday to me...

Can't believe it's been more than one and a half years since I blogged!  Well, it is a good occasion to get back to writing. It's my 36th birthday! As Vignesh put it, congratulations to me for surviving for these many years on Planet Earth.  I must say, it has been an eventful 2019 and 2020. I have been successful in shifting our base back to India, with family and friends around. I managed to find a job in India after a break of 2+ years and even switched to Fintech this year. I adopted Jonki (my childhood wish coming true!). I am expecting an addition to our family in April 2021! These are a few unforgettable milestones in my life for sure. I feel lucky and thankful for these events happening almost at the right time. It's like good things coming together. It could also be that a peaceful state of mind makes one successful at new ventures.  Life in the US, feels like a dream. I was going through the old memories (pictures) and realized that I had a pretty good time ev...
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Welcoming 2019

The list of my new year resolutions included turning back to blogging. So, just using the last 10 minutes of today's consciousness for the same. I would try to be regular at it with at least weekly inputs. When I went to bed yesterday and woke up today, I didn't particularly feel any different than any other day. I was worried about my indifference, even blamed my menstrual blues. However, it could be symbolic of my aging. It could also be acceptance of the mundane routine, listlessness of functioning or a lost state of mind. Thankfully, it was temporary.  I finally found hope and positive energy to pull myself back, reminding myself of all the good things life has gifted me. Wishing a wonderful new year, full of joy and peace to all known and unknown inhabitants of my planet. Hope all of you find the positivity to keep marching forward. :)
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My mind is stuck on '13 reasons why'

I write this post as a worried mother. The reason for my worry arises out of a TV series called '13 reasons why'. I just finished watching 2 seasons and I am left with so many questions. Well, the story is about a high school student who commits suicide leaving behind 13 audio tapes explaining the reasons why she chose to end her life. The story addresses social issues of teenage drug abuse, sexual violence, suicide and racism.  When I was watching the show, I kept thinking about my school/college days, trying to remember how was my life then. Did I ever encounter any instance violating my personal boundaries? How did I feel in those situations - scared, helpless, lonely, humiliated? Was I filled with rage against the world, not knowing how to vent it?  I guess I was all these and much more which probably words don't do justice to. But I always had the courage to share such instances with my parents/friends which I thought really helped me to come out of that situation ...
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'RadioPetti'

The images of this captioned Tamil movie are fresh in my mind. It portrays such a simple, slow-paced and genuine expression of emotions. Key characters include a nostalgic old man, his devoted & caring wife and his angry & frustrated son. All of them are trapped in their own circumstances and probably don't want to get out. Its a story of how one finds peace in the surrounding chaos. Maybe as one gets enriched with life's experiences, they stop finding meaning to life. They are just happy living the peaceful monotonous journey for whatever time left. Days go by reminiscing the sweet golden past and memories of loved ones. One can't change what has happened but surely can find solace in days to come.
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An Apple a day keeps The Doctor Away?

Hi to my blog after a considerable break again. May be I got some time from Viaan again or maybe I got too emotional today to feel like writing. Just finished watching 'Ankur Arora Murder case'. For those of you who haven't watched this movie, its about a surgical error by a renowned doctor which leads to death of a child. Well, I don't know if death of a child invokes more emotions in all parents but it did in my case. I found myself crying with the characters in the movie almost every time. Apart from the usual anger which welled on the doctors making such careless mistakes, I also tried to logically think about the life of a doctor working round the clock in a hospital. I can't imagine myself looking at and treating hurt/helpless people day in and day out without getting proper sleep/ rest or peace. It might be the most job-satisfaction giving profession but it takes a toll on one both physically and emotionally. I have often felt offended/upset with the d...
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Simple Complexities

Guess am back to my good old friend (blog) to share some feelings which I don't think anybody around me would consider important. Its been so long since I found time and someone to go back the memory lane to cherish good old times when life was much simpler. I could trust my friend and could share all my problems with her. We used to laugh on such silly things and sing our favourite songs together. There was a genuine heart felt emotion behind understanding the logical world. Together we could face the cruel and harsh circumstances. Today, the currupted me, pretends to enjoy material comforts. It tries to find solace in someone whom it cannot fathom. We talk about material things and worldly complexities but never find one moment of peace. Though life's hub is one beautiful, pure little thing which makes life worth living, the spokes are all hazy due to which this wheel is just hanging in thin air. I feel this emptiness within me. And I don't know how to fill this spac...
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