khalidimag

The never-ending dreams will remain within me forever. They grow rapidly and intensely. Wherever I go, they take me into a virtual world and compel me to live there. I get traversed into this land of unlimited possibilities. I feel the power within to conquer the world. I develop immense confidence to fuel my aspirations. I feel free to do whatever I want, rising beyond all limitations. However, I keep falling into this trap of monotony that throws me back to the so-called real world. Am reading Freud’s ‘Interpretation of Dreams’ these days. Quite a phenomenal book! According to the author, dreams are a medium of wish fulfillment and have a definite purpose. Based on his patients’ clinical case history, he has identified a logical way to interpret dreams and to trace the ulterior motive behind them. However, complications arise when the dreams turn abstract. This happens because these desires are deeply sown into the minds and hence come out in weird forms. Also, there can be more than...

I am waiting for you, I am waiting for that one clue, One indication as God's signal to help me identify you. I look for you in friends, I try to find you amongst strangers, I struggle locating you in my dream, I am full of apprehension for the future to seem. Tried imaging your face, Failed finding your trace. Frustrated with this state, Think of surrendering it to fate. You will be my savior, The one to scare away my darkest fear. Its time to free me, To revive me, to salvage me.

This was one of those instances when I was in a damn confused state of mind. Guess everybody goes through such a phase sometime or the other! "I am again facing a trial. One more time I am being blamed for being inconsiderate. And the one who is blaming me is none other than my own self. It is difficult to maintain the right balance of emotions and rational sense in your judgements and decision making (atleast I havn't been able to identify the right mix). When I give more importance to my personal relationships, I get abandoned. Then when I decide to move ahead and try to build a new support system for myself, I am held guilty for being selfish and insensitive. I was lucky enough to get the taste of love but am not fortunate enough to have a lifelong stock of the same. I guess it is the nature's rule. You get one thing and lose the other. What keeps me alive and going is my faith that whatever happens, happens for good."

So began the preparations for the mega-event called Marriage to be held on the auspicious day of 15th Dec. Right from the purchase of sarees and blouse material for relatives to buying jewellery for the bride, the girl's mother wanted to get completely involved in everything (to the extent of overstraining herself and falling sick!). Even I accompanied her in her shopping spree on some occasions and was amazed to see her expertise and bargaining skills put to use for buying good quality stuff at a cheaper rate. And I must say that it requires lot of patience to roam around in the market to see what all choices are available before you make the final purchase decision. I thoroughly enjoyed this experience and at the same time felt at ease to realize that I wasn't the bride! In the jewellery shop, I couldn't differentiate between earrings and 'metti' (toe-ring, also called 'bichua' in hindi). My cousin was disinterested most of the times in what was going arou...

I was wondering if we could just peep into one of our Maamis' lifestyle. How about the one living in Chennai? As I had mentioned in the last entry, she is experiencing lot of value addition in terms of learning about the Tam Bram culture and rituals. The experience became all the more enriching as she is located at the epicentre of all the family functions, i.e., her Periamma's place. Moreover, her cousin's marriage has also been fixed, which made her witness what all goes behind making preparations for a Tam Bram's marriage. Let us take it from the beginning. It all started 4-5 months back when Ms.D's cousin's profile was created on TamilMatrimony.com. The cousin was about to complete her M.Sc in food and nutrition. She was brilliant in academics and also received a scholarship from her college. She was dreaming about working as a researcher and going for higher studies when suddenly her world just turned upside down. Her parents made it quite clear that due to...