khalidimag

Reality has still not sinked in completely. At times I still feel Appa is there, just 2 lanes away from my house. After losing him, something has died within me.  I am good at hiding myself from the world behind a mask. So, nobody knows what kind of storm I am holding inside. Infact, some may comment about how strong or how emotionless I am. I don't believe in sharing my sorrows with others. Guess it neither helps me nor the others. This feeling of loss will stay with me forever and no one can fill this void ever. As they say, you realize the importance of a person only when you lose him.  I may not have expressed my love for him in so many words, but deep down I know he knew it. He was proud of me for my achievements, though I truly feel I haven't done much yet. I owe my life to him and my mother, who have always been supportive and have pampered me to the extent of spoiling. He was not ambitious and was quite content with what he had. He thought life had been unfai...

My kid finally arrived in style and in a hurry! On 11th of April, I (thankfully along with Vignesh) went to my Gynaec for the usual check-up and she informed that my baby was on its way out. I immediately got admitted into the hospital and in the next 3 hours, I had given birth to a healthy baby boy (by God's grace). Later my Gynaec told me that she made a case study of me in a lecture because usually in cases of first pregnancy, the labour lasts for 6-16 hours. I told myself I was just pure lucky. Diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I was supposed to be on strict diet. I was supposed to walk for an hour everyday. Having been careless about both these things, what I was regular about was only going to office. In fact, I was to reach office post my check-up on the day of delivery as well. Well, I was a bit unprepared for this (sudden arrival of our little family member). May be that is why I could handle the situation well. We had not even completed our shopping for the baby....

Hi Kutti Gundu, My mind is flooded with too many thoughts right now and I don't know what all to tell you. Am sure you are experiencing some of the side effects of my current mood swings. Really sorry to bother you before even bringing you into this world. Can't tell you how precious you are to me and your father. We have made complete plans of having fun with you in so many ways. Guess you are the only one whom I can love unconditionally with my heart and soul. Though I will have a few expectations of you, I will try not to burden you with them. I want you to live your life with full freedom and you should do what you really want to do. Live and enjoy your life with positive energy & confidence and without fear. I am eagerly awaiting the moment when I would be able to embrace you and hold you close to me. May God give me the courage, willpower, patience and maturity to bring you into this world safely and take good care of you.

Sometimes music & lyrics take you to a completely secluded state of mind where you experience or realize what lies deep down within you. "Hai dil of teri aarzoo, par main tujhe na paa sakun. Hai dil ko teri justaju, par main tujhe na paa sakun. Main hun shab tu subah, donon jud ke judaa Main hun lab tu dua, donon jud ke judaa."