khalidimag

I have no words for this movie. The after-effects of watching it cannot be explained; it has to be experienced. It's not an emotional flick that would fill you with gloom and sympathy for the special kids. It leaves you with an inspiration, a new motivation, and an attitudinal change (for some). It acts as a parenting guide, a teaching guide, and a microscope giving a closer look at life (all this backed with full fledged logic and rational arguments). The emotional turmoil as well as the joys of life has been captured really well. It takes us back to those school days when life would have been far simpler had there been no scary teachers troubling us, no rules and regulations to be followed and no competition forcing us to excel. It reminds us of the times when we used to kill time just day dreaming, or observing minute details of any trivial thing. It rings a bell telling us that once we used to think differently and the obvious never seemed to be so obvious. We realize how comfo...

I have never been able to predict my behaviour. How can I act so dumb in some situations?! And in contrast to that I am also capable of acting smart enough (though I have more instances to quote in case of the former!). Lets look at what happened today. In the 3-hour exam, I didn't bother to turn the question paper and look at the last numerical question. On top of that, the person sitting in front asked me the formula to be used in that question and it never occurred to me as to why is he wasting his as well as my time on a formula that apparently could not be used anywhere. I kept attempting the silly theoretical questions very confidently, thinking that I was still left with a lot of time and why the hell our prof chose to give only theoretical questions. I came to know of this blunder only after I came out of the examination hall when my friend wanted to confirm the answer to that numerical. I am not concerned about the marks but what hurts is that I fail to understand the obvi...

I got placed today. I got a job to earn my livelihood and to support my family. I am well-equipped to lead an independent life. Well, apart from these long term effects of getting a job, there are some very crucial short-term gains like no more getting ready early in the morning, no more GDs and interviews full of pretense, no more feelings of rejection, dejection and worthlessness and no more dressing up in formals! Actually I still can't believe that I got 3 offers today. A girl who couldn't clear 6 rounds of GDs and 2 rounds of interviews, managed to pass through 3 gds and 3 interviews in the 3-day interview process. I never thought I would be able to clear an interview for a bank job (with questions on all fin-related technical stuff)! But I cleared it for 2 banks. As it has been happened to me in all important stages of life, I don't get what I want very easily, esp. my job. I knew it for sure that as always I would be tasting failure before success. But I wasn't s...

Before you start wondering what do I mean by the term 'Maamis', allow me to deal with your concern. 'Maami' is a female who chooses to value and abide by certain beliefs considered to be primitive and archaic by the people of her generation. I must clarify that all such beliefs and value system signify the traits required to walk on the righteous path (as always preached by our elders and parents). For instance, never drink and smoke as they are injurious to health, premarital sex is unimaginable, eating only veg food is preferable and so on. So, these 'Maamis' may earn a good name for themselves amidst our parents but unfortunately their fellow beings look at them in both awe (as they cannot be like them) and disgust (thinking how can anyone be like that). In short, as we term any girl 'Aunty' in common parlance here in north India, similarly 'Maami' is the term used down south. So, having given the backdrop of the story, let me begin the tale o...

It is really amazing how sometimes certain things just strike you with such intensity that it has the potential to change your life forever! Discovering and understanding different aspects of human personality is the most difficult task ever. At the same time, it is all the more interesting. It is similar to the experience of watching a movie or reading a fiction with sudden twists and turns. The takeaway depends on your interest and interpretation. I never thought I would make 'certain' people my friends and would go to the extent of sharing my personal problems with them. But time and again life shows you that it is full of strange uncertainties. So give life a second chance as the grey areas are more than the black or white ones. Just expect the unexpected!

Was Confucious as confused as his name seems to be? Am i the only one who cannot figure out ways to get out of hundreds of dilemmas that I find myself falling into all the time. The subjectiveness of situations drive me crazy. Why can't we have standards made for every thing (I know I am growing insane)! Guilt is one of the resultants of my various actions in varying situations. It comes into existence when I feel I have contributed to harm someone. Even though my intentions were not wrong, the actions culminated into presenting a scary picture. I want to blame others for the sorry state of affairs as an escape route but I know this won't help me. I want to take some burden off my soul by thinking that whatever happens happens for good and that destiny has its own role to play. However, the fact that I let it happen and that I could provide no alternative solution to the problem haunts me. I curse myself for being so helpless, indecisive and closed-minded. But then I love mysel...

My little girl, Ocean's lost pearl Why do you worry, when there is no hurry You will find your way, Free yourself of the dismay Look around, you are not bound This cry for freedom may get you sympathy of some Is that what you want? The world is ready to daunt Let the agony escape when you cry, Let your wounds and eyes dry Keep up the faith, Drowning man just needs a lath A new day will be born A new jewel to be worn From the sorrows you'll elope Till then cling to hope...

Ms. S was a mystery woman. She was one lively woman. Charming face, deep black eyes, dusky beauty - typical south-indian/baung features. She didn't have a nice physique but there was an aura around her. I met her in the bus I used to travel from Noida to Shahdara during my summer internship. When I first saw her, she caught my attention in a crowded bus. I was literally struggling to find some space for me to stand in the bus. She saw me in that state and gave a sweet smile. I returned the same. I thought here was a lady who was quite used to traveling like this unlike me. I didn't pay much attention to her after that. Next day, I saw her in the bus in Shahdara. I instantly recognized her and acknowledged her presence. Even she did the same. I sat besides her and then began our conversation. I realized she was a friendly and warm person. She didn't take much time to tell me all about her family. She was married to a punjabi guy. It was a love marriage. They met through a c...

जिन्दगी की गाड़ी में बैठे हम निकल पड़े अपनी मंज़िल की तलाश में। कई जानी अनजानी गलियों से गुज़रे। हर मोड़ पे अच्छे बुरे लोगों से मुलाकात हुई। किसी ने घर आने का न्योता दिया तो किसी ने राह में ही विदा ले ली। ऐसे भी बहुत लोग मिले जिन्होंने सफर में कुछ साथ दिया। दिल कहता था आख़िर कोई दोस्त मिल ही गया जिसके सहारे अब ये रूखा सफ़र थोडा दिलचस्प होगा। उससे बातें करते करते समय बीतने का पता ही नही चला। फिर अचानक एक दिन उसने कहा कि उसे ये साथ छोड़ना होगा क्यूंकि उसका लक्ष्य उसे मिल गया था। कई मित्र साथ चलने की बात करने लगे पर उन्हें क्या कहते कि हम कितने मजबूर थे। हमे भी तो अपनी मंज़िल की तलाश थी। दिल रोया, तरसा पर कुछ ना कर सका। हारकर फिर बढ़ चले उसी सूनी राह पर। यही आस थी कि ज़रूर कोई रहगुज़र होगा जो मुझे समझेगा और मेरे लिए रुक जाएगा। हर पडाव पे प्रकृति के सौंदर्य का अनुभव किया। काफी बार तो वहीँ रूक जाने का मन किया। पर ये गाड़ी किस के कहने पर रूकती है?! आगे बढ़ जाना पड़ा। पर मन हमेशा इसी उधेड़बुन में रहता है कि जाने आगे कैसा दृश्य देखने को मिलेगा! उम्मीद है किसी नुक्कड़ पे ख़ुशी छुप कर खडी होगी मेरे ही इं...

They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Is this true? Isn't it the concensus amongst the eyes of the beholders in a society that recognizes and appreciates beauty? Whatever one may say, looks do matter. It is the force of a rose's appearance that attracts the attention of a passer-by. A beautiful female candidate automatically creates a good impression on her interviewer without uttering even a single word. A good looking salesman can influence a woman's purchase behaviour (now that i am an expert in Consumer Behaviour!). Anything that is pleasing to the eyes (eye-candy) sends a signal to the brain to draw a favourable picture of the subject and creates a 'halo effect' around the subject. Now looking from the perspective of the person possessing this power of captivating beauty, he/she is confident about him/herself and in most of the cases knows that he/she is blessed with beauty. This lays the floor for the entire business of fashion industry and beaut...

I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone I walk this empty street On the Blvd. of broken dreams Where the city sleeps And I'm the only one and I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone My shadows the only one that walks beside me My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me Till then I walk alone I'm walking down the line That divides me somewhere in my mind On the border line of the edge And where I walk alone Read between the lines What's fucked up and everythings all right Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive And I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone My shadows the only one that walks beside me My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me Till then I walk alone I walk this empty street On the Blvd. of broken dreams Where the city sleeps And I'm the only one and I w...

There is nothing better than remembering the moments spent with the loved ones. It is like re-living the best parts of our lives. It leaves us rejuvenated for facing the hardships that awaits us. These memories also sometimes haunt us when we miss the companionship that we used to enjoy at some point in time and now we have covered great distances to get back to that lane, that lane which witnessed us as inseparable from our friends. No matter how hard we try to bring back those days, how desperate we may get to share the same intimacy, how long we curse our destinies to have paved separate paths for us, we know that strange are the norms of life. All we do is move ahead, hoping to build such bond with some other people. But deep down in our hearts, we accept our failure to find replacements to fill that void created. This is a tribute to all those who came close enough to share my sorrows and happiness and left an indelible impression. I take this opportunity to let them know that I m...

This is not a review on the movie Hostel (a good one for the gory movie lovers!) but a reminder to my MBA journey, a crucial part of which forms my stay in the IMT hostel. Now I realize how different the life of a hostler is from that of a day scholar (DS). A DS leads a school kid’s life while the hostler enjoys the ‘khushi & gam’ of the college life. I still remember my first day in the hostel very clearly. I felt like a lost child who wanted to cry remembering her parents and friends with no one to console her. There was this terrible urge to be at home. My room seemed like a jail/hospital where you cannot exercise your choice. All kinds of unknown creepy insects visited my room along with the more familiar breed of lizards and roaches. The mess was like a fish market everyone fighting for plates and food. The humidity of the season made things worse. I became normal after 4-5 months of my stay. I only stayed in my room; I didn’t live there. I used to spend my entire day in my fr...

Time to do what you feel like You are the master of your life Pamper yourself Indulge in ultimate idleness Taste this liberty of wasting your time And you'll know, what you were missing all these days Time to hang out with friends Watch movies Listening to your favourite music Watching you favourite sport Meet up with old friends Time to relax Losing your senses in a day dream Nostalgia wrapping your mind Sleeping for long hours Its the time to do nothing....

I wish... there existed no reason to study to have a pet dog called Browny to learn music & to play guitar to learn to drive car & bike to make my parents proud to be disciplined to be indpendent & mature to be free of all kinds of confusions in life not to have so many decisions to make to be free of all worries I could stay with my friends & family forever there was no reason for me to hide & lie I could help everyone in this world to be as innocent as a child I could lose weight & have that perfect figure I could travel around the world I stayed with my nanny (in the south of India) to be kind, gentle & graceful the world had less of corruption people were more considerate I dream...what else can be done by a lazy bum!

There is a path I fear to tread. I know it would not lead me to my destination. But it is enticing me. I am divided into two schools of thought. One says, "listen to your heart", and the other says, "stay focussed on your goal". I am trying to help others come out of their gloom. But who will rescue me from this mire! I encounter unknown emotions and distorted personalities. I don't know how to deal with both. I feel lost in this new world. But I know I am strong enough to come out of this web...I am hopeful.

After getting smitten by the strong 'Rit' influence 3 years back, I am now getting back to my original self. One importnt realization is that no matter to what extent you try to imitate a person unconsciously, your core personality would never change. I am happy to have become more practical. I no more lament over trivial issues and believe in moving ahead in life. I no more cling on to certain relationships that i wanted to save. I have set them free thinking that they would return if destined to. But undoubtedly, Rit has been a Change Leader for me. She has been my role model for handling some of the most precarious situations in my life till date. Her devotion to the values and principles in life makes her special to me. And above all, she taught me the meaning of friendship and relationships. I learnt to enjoy life from her. She is one person you cannot ignore. She may come across as a silly girl but as you start knowing her, her charm would leave you dazed. At times she ...

Being quite tired of the IMT happenings, I was desperately looking for a break in the form of the 2 month long ST! Well, I knew about the company only to the extent of familiarity of its name and that some of my batch-mates (of CBS) were working with it. Well, after 3-4 days of hard core enjoyment (typical post exam freak-out), I left home for a ‘Roc’ing day, with no great expectations but bit of an excitement that automatically flows in when we go to a new place due to the uncertainty associated with the kind of place and people to be encountered. The journey was okay but I could not keep my eyes open for more than half an hour in the bus (now that I was quite habitual of getting a sleep till late in the morning..). I reached the destination well before time in spite of roaming around in that area for 10-15 minutes trying to figure out the office building (as we were looking for a wrong address..this happened given the fact that I had visited the company once. Hence concluded, that I ...

Just a thought that visited me after reading Aritri's poem (P.S: she writes really well..) - Throughout my life I keep looking for something that I don't have. I seek love in the jungles of hatred and materialism. I keep waiting for the Mr. Right to whom I would surrender my self. I find love but do not appreciate its beauty as I get entangled in the worldly affairs. After I win the rat race, I look back but can't find it. And then I crave for it when I lose the loved one. I chose this path for me but I blame the destiny and God for this fate. I stand all alone like a forlorn cactus in the endless desert, gazing at the indifference of the passers-by. I want to fill the vacuum in my life. I wait patiently for that love to return. I wait for a ray of love to traverse these shadows of gloom.

I don't know how to interpret this incident that happened this morning...Anyway, I was the victim. I was in the auto headed towards Shahdra bus depot. Two boys on a bike overtook the auto and were about to turn rightwards when suddenly both of them waved to me and shouted “ye kitne hain?”, i.e., “how many were they?”. Well, later on I understood that they were showing their fingers and asking me if I could make out how many were they. Spurt of anger was the first emotion that I could feel. How dare they challenge my eye-sight! But then I chuckled at my own confusion. Well, then I heaved a sigh consoling myself that these things do happen (esp. to me…!).

I have mixed feelings right now...There are a lot of instances which make you feel good or bad but there are some that make you think. In the morning, I travelled in an auto rickshaw alongwith three women and four of us were stacked somehow in the available space. In such a case, only three of the passengers can sit (more or less) comfortably but the fourth one would have a tough time. Here, the fourth one was a lady in orange saree. I was pretty content with my comfortable position and didn't give a damn about the others. When the auto reached its destination and all of us got down, I was surprised (infact..a bit shocked) to see that the lady in orange was pregnant (5-6 months). That moment filled me with remorse. After blaming myself enough for my inconsiderate act, I started blaming the lady for travelling like this when she needed to take utmost care of her health. But then I could not escape from my guilt....

Finally I got a break from IMT but don't get me wrong. This is not a vacation but summer training (which is supposed to be rocking...you'll know why..!). My next few posts would be dedicated to this new experience (i have the faintest idea whether adding value or not..). Now that I have covered this journey halfway (till now it was quite smooth...), I can't comment until it ends...

Life has slowed down in pace. There used to be days when targets and deadlines governed the activities of my day in office. And now, although I get a lot of free time for widening my sphere of knowledge by exploring the internet, I have no definite work set aside for me. So, I can let my hair down and spend some time on myself. Looking at the plight of some of my IMT colleagues, I consider myself lucky enough to subsist in an air-conditioned office and spend time as per my own sweet will (obviously not under any surveillence!). These days I see different varieties of people all around me in all strange postures possible (won't like to elaborate on that...) as I travel in buses and auto rickshaws regularly. I listen to the people indulged in ultimate 'bhasad' (IMT lingo used in place of gossip..). At times these talks are interesting but mostly it is non-sensical. Sometimes I have an urge to interrupt or comment but then I won't prefer people calling me insane! I catch a...

Nishabd (the latest Amitabh movie) did focus on some of the unspoken desires and feelings of a human when he is in his last stage of life. The idea of a 6o yr old man falling in love with an 18 yr old girl would obviously raise many eyebrows but then it is important to understand the logic behind it. As Amitabh expresses his point of view in the movie, he is attracted not only physically to the girl but he re-discovers his reason for living through her. She arouses the child within him and ignites the spirit to live for his passion. And this is very true. All of us become so engrossed in our routine life of earning, and household chores that we completely forget to give ourselves some time. As is shown in the movie, Revathi (Amitabh's wife) gives up her dancing for her family and starts living just for her family. She spends almost all her time in either her kitchen or in getting the work done from her deaf servant. The monotony of life is clearly portrayed through her. On the oth...

Patience always shows results. If you desperately try to achieve something without realizing that this may not be the right time to put in the efforts, then it would be a waste of time and efforts in addition to the by product of de-motivation. When you try hard to hold on to something or someone, the more is the probability of you losing it/him/her. As the more you want to hold sand, the more quickly it drifts away. Sometimes you have to let it go. It is better to try as far as possible and then wait patiently for the results without getting frustrated. No doubt it is difficult, but then life cannot be expected to be that easy!!

Ever thought about your name? I wonder at times as to how important is my name for me. To what extent do I identify myself with it? Can I relate to it? We grow old all through our life along with our respective names and during all these years, we start loving it. I ponder over the feeling of exclusivity that i get when some stranger calls my name. I have always loved it when my teachers used to address me by my name. I cherish the moment when I see my name on the list of selected candidates/winners for any competition/contest. I take pride in staring at my signatures. How bad we feel if someone could not pronounce our names correctly. Some people are really sensitive about it, especially when they inherit the names of their respective grandparents/parents. Ever imagined about another name that may suit you better? I have tried doing it but have always failed to find a new name for myself. Same is the case with sir-name. The concept of nickname is also quite interesting. It came into e...

Sometimes I feel I am good for nothing. I can’t help my friends the way and the extent to which they want me to. I am not able to meet the expectations of my parents. I don’t know how to behave with people. I don’t know the right things which should be said/done on right occasions. I am not good at anything. I am not even doing justice to myself. I am not disciplined enough to pursue my hobbies. People don’t respect me for what I am and want me to be someone else. Why should I pretend to be someone else when I am not…? Why don’t people let me be what I am. Why should I adapt myself all the time to others’ wish? Can’t I live in peace without worrying about what other people might think? Am I being true to anyone? Or for that matter even to my own soul? I pretend to abide by my ethics but I don’t even have the guts to stick to what I believe in. Why am I so weak? Why don’t I behave in a manner that commands respect? Why do I get influenced so much by what others have to say/think about m...

Wedding: Well, there may be varied reactions to this word by different people. Some dream about it while some consider it a nightmare. Some take it quite seriously whereas some people think it is just another responsibility as part of life. Some of us have a clear idea about what we look for in our “would be” and there is also a category of people that either has left it to God/ parents & relatives/destiny to select their bride/groom or has always believed in “love at first sight” (LAFS). Now this concept of LAFS is very interesting and unbelievable. I am not talking about the feeling (not to comment on the genuineness of it to be called love) that gets aroused due to the face value of a person. But this is something which cannot be put into words. This is inexplicable but let me give it a try. It’s like “we-have-met-before” kind of a feeling, even though you are meeting him/her for the first time. There is something that tells you that this is it. It obviously has no logic but th...

Are you happy today? Ever wondered what is happiness? It is nothing more than a chemical reaction in our body causing pleasentness. Where to find it? Within ourselves..What makes us happy? Depends on what we want...A child gets it when he gets the desired toy(companion) & parents get pleasure in seeing their child playing happily. A student gets it when he scores the way he wants(when hard work bears fruit) & a teacher is happy to see his/her student achieving success. A girl may get it when she goes for shopping(materialistic happiness). A farmer may get it when he looks over his fully grown paddy field. A thirsty man may get it when he finds water. A couple may get it at their child's birth. A singer gets pleasure in singing. A dog feels happy in the company of his master. I feel happy when I have no work to do!! Why don't we find happiness in smaller things in life? What does a girl feel when her boyfriend proposes to her? The first kiss? (or for that matter every t...

Ever asked a girl how does it feel being of the female gender? Now you would say when I never asked a guy, what is so special being a girl? I would say, it wouldn't have been if the Indian society wouldn't been a male chauvinistic society. People say it is the weaker sex, the reason being that we are dependent on our male counterparts for leading our lives. Although it has been proved wrong by many bold females by challenging and going against the generally accepted rules and regulations for girls, there are still several areas, where the battle is still on. Now without getting into the details of "Equality for Women in society" issue, I would take the case of one my friends. Let me call her Ms. M. Now this girl, like all my friends, is a highly confused but simple and modest (to an extreme) girl. She hasn’t had a boyfriend in her 22 yr long life. But is now developing feelings for a guy on whom she first had a crush (is it called puppy love??). Ok..looks simple. But...

Time for some self- evaluation..I think I have further changed after coming to IMT. And this is quite unexpected. A substantial change in such a short duration… Earlier there used to be one such person who used to know approx 90% of all the happenings in my life. (there was and is no one who knows 100%!!) After coming here, I started to lookout for a friend…as I am I need a friend..not a group of friends..I think I can never maintain a good personal relation with a group of friends. I have always created relationship with individuals, although I can work very well in a group. So more than a professional relation, I cannot share my personal affairs with a group. I had found one..but yesterday I got to know that even he considers me a selfish person. Today I come to know about Anna’s opinion that I am not a group element. I think I agree with him but I felt bad. Rite now, the two closest friends I have at IMT are D and M. But somehow I feel even they don’t know me completely. Do I know ...

I think advising comes quite easily to human beings. Ask anyone for his/her advice/ opinion/suggestion, and bang comes the reply...no matter how irrelevant/cliched it may be. Well, I am no exception to this generalization. But this is a fact that no one can understand the worries of a sufferer until and unless one goes through the same suffering. No matter how empathetic u pretend to be, you cannot put yourself into the shoes of the victim. And then how fake/artificial/emotionless seems the so-called "advice" of the so called "well-wisher". I can very easily try to console my friends when their failures in life force them to get worried but when once upon a time I was in the same spot, relatively I was far more worried. But aren't these worries a part of life? You can never be free of them. It started (for me) from class 5 (as I don't recollect how i felt before that time period). I had to score the highest in class. And so I was crazy about marks. This cont...